Thursday 11 May 2023

Mask

 


Kohled eyes flushed cheeks

Painted lips manicured nails 

Mask of conceit 


I yearned for you ...behind my mask was a different world .


Unfortunate 

Mistook my hunger 

To be greed 


And now I am way beyond you .


Conflics arguments 

Deep conversations in mind 

Weird silence outside 



Sunday 18 October 2020

Love - unlove




As smiles turn to fights
And arguments to silence 
I watch myself slowly unloving you 

TangyTomatoTwist


Friday 10 August 2018

Freedom





With a stubborn voice
I say
I want my freedom
he says I am free....
free to make a choice
free to travel anywhere I want
free to wear what I want
free to say what I feel
as long as I know my limits
know my limits ?
but I did not set any limits
I thought I could soar towards the sky
He smiles
Takes me into his arms
and gently whispers into my ears...
I will guide you
tell you what is right and the wrong
just hold my hands
and you will never get lost
he kept showing the way
and I followed
today I sit in a room
alone
and wonder
What happened to my freedom?





Friday 25 May 2018

Love ?



Relationship hidden
behind secure passwords
yearning freedom, suffocate...

 

Tuesday 8 November 2016

Life is easy ...errr kind of...isn't it ?

Life is not so easy ..... Its as difficult as we want it to be :D

Yes I have been completely... totally... utterly... confused . 

I have been thinking a lot the past few days ...months(??!!) ...oh well probably a few years now ... and the thoughts change every few minutes ...No wonder I didn't blog for some time ...By the time I start writing, thoughts which seemed so significant would actually seem to be silly and the post would remain incomplete ..in draft state .

A lot of good things happened and many which I want to forget and get past , while I was missing in action here ....

 I learnt driving ! YAY !!!! Nah let me correct that ...I started driving !  I leant how to drive ages ago :)  I can now drive during peaks hours on the Bangalore road listening to music and feel as though I am driving through some countryside .

I got a good rating at work this time ;)  Trust me it was so difficult sitting there in front of my manager listening to all the good things I had done over the year and that too on a video call ! I just hope my handsome manger didn't notice me turning red like a tomato .
For those who are new to this blog ..here's my epic battle
http://tangytomatotwist.blogspot.in/2013/03/true-story-wings-of-fire.html

And it was during this sabbatical from the blogging world that I realized , my son - Chochi ,  shares my dislike for Mathematics and Physics .... and my darling daughter Sushi is completely in love with the mirror ! Just like mom again :D

I also realized I was not only insecure about a lot many things , but in my attempt to be a strong woman , I neglected my sensitive side ... I let my insecurities and the desire to be strong take over me completely.... Of course there were moments when I got better of them ...but those moments were short lived .

In short life had taken a zig-zag course ... So while I was playing peek-a-boo with life and driving in my car across the outskirts of Bengaluru ....Did I mention above that I went ahead and brought the car one fine morning ...just like that... just to make myself independent  :D ? and by the way I got a new tattoo also done ;) .... I know I am going all over the place ...but I AM so excited to be back ....

So where was I ? Yes ! I was driving across the outskirts when I saw this ....






It was a hot sunny afternoon .... But this graveyard brought a sense of peace ....It seemed as if everyone was resting peacefully after finishing their chores ....their duties .....resting peacefully after the marathon ...  it was after a long time that I actually felt at peace with myself ..... It reminded me of days when I would sit under a tree with my friends in college and just chit chat . When the only worry was submission of next journal.

So what's life .... Isn't it just about living in the moment ?  Taking things as they come ?
I don't know when the worry turned from submitting the journals to insecurity about kids future .... to companionship during old age ... to next EMI... that I forgot to live in the present.  Why am I so worried about future ? Why do I doubt my kids capabilities ? Why do I want a promotion at work?
In the end finally I might be lying down next to an unknown person trying to find about him/her on a hot sunny afternoon . I might be just lying there watching an unknown person drive by trying to find the meaning of life ....



Wednesday 11 December 2013

Second Chance

 
 
I say the sky is orange
you try to convince me it is not
Blue is the sky
with floating white clouds
you try to make me see the reality
 without realizing
from my peephole
All I could see
was the tiny orange of the rainbow
In the mad rush
 trying to collect the gold and silver coins
We forgot about
the Yellow river , the blue mountain and the purple sun
Beyond the reality
there is a magical world
Long forgotten and abandoned
Hold my hands and close your eyes
We will start the journey again hand in hand this time .



Take Care,

Monday 29 July 2013

No it won't rain today !


I stand watching 
As the clouds above me 
take various forms and shapes 
The chariot turns into a monster 
The mermaids tail into an evil dragon 
The heart floats by 
teasing me , tempting me 
beyond my reach 
And then I see 
The storm cloud 
slowly inching towards me 
mocking me , provoking me 
with the rumbling sound 
inching closer and closer 
I feel the sharp pain
As the harsh wind blows 
across my face
I look up 
and wipe the single tear away 
No it won't rain today ! 

Take Care,